Autism, Family

Blame: The Husband Diaries

As Lloyd’s story starts to unfold between us, I am surprised by how easily he can access his emotions when I ask a direct question. It occurs to me for the first time that although he rarely offers out his innermost thoughts, they are in fact very close to the surface. The conversation continues to… Continue reading Blame: The Husband Diaries

Autism, Family

The Bigger Picture

The emotions that run through me when I watch this old video are so conflicting. I'm filled with love. It seems like forever ago and also like yesterday. I remember those pyjamas, the new baby smell, the sleepless exhilaration that came with becoming mother of two children. But I also remember the feeling in the… Continue reading The Bigger Picture

Autism, Family, Uncategorized

Floodgates

By the time Sawyer started school, most of my anxieties were fuelled by a fear that he would be misunderstood. He had not long since turned 4 years old when he went in to reception class, and had been verbal for only a few short weeks. Sawyer’s inability to keep still remained his overarching characteristic,… Continue reading Floodgates

Autism, Family

Childhood Sweethearts

Before we received Sawyer’s diagnosis of autism, I struggled to explain his unusual behaviours to other parents. I desperately wanted them to see how sweet and loving he was, but often those traits were masked by his inability to keep still, his fondness for running headlong in to walls, and his exceptional talent for breaking… Continue reading Childhood Sweethearts